I’ve gone from telling you how Pilates has destroyed my life, and now here I am, giving you 10 reasons why it may not be for you…do you think I’ve gone loopy?! Well, here you have it…10 legitimate reasons why you probably wouldn’t want to try Pilates.
1. You completely enjoy the stress and dramas of everyday life; and especially enjoy the effect it has on your body. If this is you, and you bask in the glory of stress and anxiety, than Pilates probably is not up your street! You could come to class stressed, I’m sure most of my wonderful customers do, but let me assure you you won’t be stressed when you leave! Those deep lateral and thoracic breathing exercises, and that sense of control when you’re working out, will rid those stress toxins right out of your pores!
2. You are NOT a performing Monkey. It’s just not in your nature to have a party trick. You start going to Pilates and within a few sessions you’ll be touching your toes. Already impressive to a few. Keep going, and suddenly you can sit in straddle on the floor and reach so far forward your chest is touching the carpet. It’s becoming second nature for you, but for all other non-Pilates folk, this is quite a skill. Do it again! And again!
3. Used to living life in the shadows? Happy to be invisible? Then, Pilates probably isn’t going to help you continue living this way. Once you start your regular regime, and with your improved posture, a new-found confidence will suddenly take you by storm. You’re now standing taller, looking happier, and absolutely reeking of poise and self-assurance! Everyone is going to notice the change in you, whether you like it or not.
4. You completely disagree with any kind of addiction…Drugs. Alcohol. Gambling. Partake in Pilates and you are committing yourself to a life of addiction. It’s just that feeling you get after class…the benefits you’re starting to feel…the guilt that pickles your body when you couldn’t get there. Those happy little endorphins you’re feeling are what’s getting you totally addicted to Pilates class. Who would thought it?! You…an addict!
5. Every night’s a treat night…And I’m not here to tell you not to. (I mean, I am sat here, 3 glasses of wine and a Galaxy Cookie Crumble down!). But start partaking in Pilates, and those calories just don’t look as inviting as they did before. You start becoming more aware of how you’re body feels after class, and then how your body feels after that stack of cheesy chips. A weekly treat feels much more satisfying now. It just doesn’t feel the same as it did back in the couch potato days!
6. Are you one of those, that will look down when someone you know walks towards you, just so you don’t have to stop and say hello? Yup, I used to do that too. I used to think I would sneak in to class at the back, and keep myself to myself. And you thought the same didn’t you?! Well, unfortunately for you, my classes are extremely sociable. And all of a sudden you find yourself joining in with the banter and abuse of your amazing instructor *cough cough*, and then, before you know what’s happening, you’re a crucial part to this weird and wonderful Pilates community, and start chatting to everyone there – no one will even know you were a Debbie Downer before Pilates came along!
7. SKINT. Well, it’s not Pilates itself destroying your bank balance…I mean, at just £5 a session (with me!), it’s not going to break the bank. But you’ve attended a few classes now, and just feel like you need to treat yourself to those new pair of leggings you spotted online. There’s no point in buying them without the matching sports bra thought, right? Before you know it, a few months have gone by and you’re filling your ‘gym drawer’ out with H&M Sport, and then it’s too late…You’re entering into the realms of ‘Sport Snobbery’ and you start investing in the brand new Nike Printed Leggings! Be careful, it’s a slippery slope…
8. Visible abs make you squeamish. You’re perfectly happy with the little muffin around your middle…it keeps you warm in the winter. And this is another reason you probably shouldn’t attend. Say bye-bye to your little tummy-lover, with a significant focus on core strength in Pilates, you’ll be toning those abs to within an inch of your life! You’ll have the body of Kate Hudson in no time at all.
9. Verbal diarrhoea. There we go…it just takes the total lack of knowledge of one person, or their complete uncertainty of Pilates, and you’re talking the hind legs off a donkey! You just can’t stop…your whole experience of Pilates, and the significant impact it’s had on your life is now all you can talk about. You’ll need to ensure you pack those Oral Imodium’s in your handbag, because you never know when you’re next episode of Pilates verbal diarrhoea is going to happen.
10. The easy ride. And I understand…who the hell wouldn’t want to reap all the benefits of Pilates from an easy-lying-on-the-mat regime!? But an easy ride is something you’re not going to get with Pilates! It may seem all airy-fairy when you’re warming up, but once you start on moves like The Hundred, Double Leg Stretch, and Teaser, you soon realise this is not what you signed up for: hard work.
So there you have it. 10 reasons Pilates may not be for you!